These happy days are yours and mine

Scriven, landlord, narks, neeks and herbs, muthafuckas can't hold us down.
247 signing out, rolling the joints, kicking the kicks, bringing the bant.
There was this one day once when we made dinner and it was pretty nice, the other day we once went to walkabout and got beer and burger, one other time we were going to go to dq but we only went to sainsburys then we came back home and went to bed. When I'm old, when I'm 64 I'll remember those days.

247 is UNDER SIEGE

HELP! THE LANDLORD HAS GONE MAD! HE CAME ROUND SAID WE WERE FILTHY BEGGARS AND THAT WE HAD TO CLEAN UP! OR HE'LL TAKE US TO COURT! HELP!

Description of Landlord:

He had foaming teeth and a black heart. He had stripy trousers and was left handed. He had children's shoes on and he wore a hat made out of bones. If you see him, watch out. HE'S MAD!

If there are any soldiers out there who received this message, please send some jaffa cakes and diet caffeine free coke to 247 Crookesmoor Road in aid of the resistance effort. Any light music would be nice also, Toploader, The Corrs etc.

P.s. when sticking it to the man don't stick it to hard or you might get hurt, at all times be responsible, your safety comes first after all.

p.p.s. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPo9ISQpzvM

Brown Sugar

Sometimes I'm just not so sure about it you know,

I love mummy

Matteo xx

CLEGG OR DIE

i love cleggg more than life itself, i'd take a bullet for that cheeky little walnut, but if i hear any of you so much as breathe a bad word about him i'll fucking nut you

Matteo x

i love mummy

film review: Schindler's LIST

MATTEO'S FILM REVIEW OF SCHINDLER'S LIST:

I quite liked it, but i thought it could have been a little bit longer,

Matteo xx

I Love Mummy

Leggings?

Is it cool for boys to wear leggins? I bought some but i'm scared to wear them out, i love mummy. MATTEO

The big one!

So.. as you may have noticed, the poll regarding Golden Balls' position in the Tv schedule has produced a fairly inconclusive result with a tie between "yes" and "don't be silly"! We decided to get the Carrotman himself to comment on the result:

247: so Jasper how do you feel about the result.

JC: well you know I love presenting Golden Balls, it's more than just a gameshow, it's a way of life. Personally I use the left over balls for all sorts of other functions... for example i use them as widgets in my homebrew beer - Carrot's premium ale. I also use them for rolling the dough in my homemade pies.

247: let us stop you there, so do you personally feel that GB should replace the news?

JC: Personally I feel that the mettle contestants must display when deciding whether or not to share or steal is far more relevant to the British public than any of the bullshit the news pumps into our homes.

247: ok.. so you think it should then..

JC: as a reader of daytime weekly, I have become aware of Jeremy Kyle's interest in the program and we currently have a proposal for a program based around a fusion of GB and the JK show. The idea being that disputes between members of the public are resolved via a game of Golden Balls in a stripped down version.

247: sounds interesting... well you heard it here first the Jeremy Balls show... coming to a television near you..

thanks Jasper

JC: peace up A-town

FIN?

b-side

hot new band - FIN

click on jigger for song

Russell Howard = Prick

I fucking hate you.
Tim Minchen too.

WANKER!

ABSOLUTE ROTTER! FUCK YOU YOU GRADE A DOUCHECUNT!
GIVE HIM AN ASBO! FUCK YOU PHILIP LAING!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1259030/Tony-Blairs-secret-dealings-South-Korean-oil-firm-UI-Energy-Corp.html

Nick Clegg

Poem:

N - N is for Nick

I - I is for impotent. Politically he is not.

C - is for cardinal Sin. B-Liar Knows about this he is one.

K - KRIMINALLY UNDERRATED

C - can't touch his policy

L - Let his visions rule

E - elephant in teh room - Brown? YES

G - green party aren't it

G - Green party wish they had clegg

NICK CLEGG

Is Jewish a Race?

When defining race/identity/gender etc, there are some important things to consider.

3. Chocholate.

4. Rabbis/

6. Is Jewsih a Race?

Are snakes on a PLane?

where is the love? Who is the Love? Where are the snakes.

Five times out of ten people are scared of snakes.

five times out of ten that means they aren't.

Is Jewish a race? Maybe.

Liason

Everyone likes to party, 247 like to party and noone parties like our boys Sugarcult. So crack open the kegs, get your hard on ready and stay away from the love calculator... MAYBE! Not if you have a sweet high school girl yeah, remember kids sex is better with the one you love.

Midgets welcome, crusty old deans not.

How we roll

247 GOT PAID

GOT LAID
GOT A MER-MAID

Snog, marry or rape

Yo BITCHES.....

JUST WEAR A FUCKING BAG IF YOU ARE UGLY, It's a lot cheaper than make-up and fake tan...

peace

Television: Good?

I don't know about television sometimes. I mean I like Golden Balls but I really BLOODY HATE THE NEWS.

Question: Should Golden Balls be shown instead of the news?

Answer: You decide - it's time for people to say what they think instead of keeping schtum the hole time, WHAT WHAT!

New Music

the new music that the people should listen to is:

Kelly Osbourne

TOUCH MY BUM THIS IS LIFE

IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER YOU'VE GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS

Story Time

Went to the sea, pissed in the sea, went back home, pissed in the bed.

No excuses

Today we learnt that the song you always hear before Jeremy Kyle was written specially for the bingo advert.

Most people think the girls go to bingo, or jeremy kyle, or doncaster... UMMMM, NO! They go to 247! RATS! GIRLS! MORE RATS! CASH FOR GOLD!

Hello Old Chinese Man

sisqo > david gover

belle de jourk

what's it like being a prostitute? its actually quite fun. sometimes you write books and sometimes you shag some like weirdoes, but who cares its still a laugh. when 247 started whoring themselves out they were a bit worried at first, we all know B-Liar's the ultimate whore and no one wants to be like that, but we weren't like that, we were quite lol about the whole thing and thats probably a good thing otherwise we might've forgotten how fun being a prostitute can be. just don't tell mum LOL, old people just don't understand right?

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

Poll Results

We at 247 are always looking to hear what you the public think, that’s just the way we roll (not like that scumbug B-Liar... where’s our referendum hey?). So when we upped a poll on the hot button issue of the day, what is the cutest animal, we were thrilled by the response. You flocked to everyday struggle in your masses and here were the results;

Pony
2 (12%)
Baby Rabbit
3 (18%)
Little Puppy
7 (43%)
B-LIAR (EEEUGGH NO!)
4 (25%)

As you can see Little Puppy came out victorious and earlier that day we caught up with him to get his response.

247croookesmoor; So Little Puppy you have been voted the cutest animal, how does it feel?
Little Puppy: Woof woof woof.
247crookesmoor: Now I know you have lots more to say but time is short and ketchup is red so do you have any closing remarks?
Little Puppt: Woof woof woof.

Moving. Very moving.

jelly beans

they are not made of jelly, and they're probably not actually even in the bean family.

WTF!?!?!?! It's really weird, RIGHT?

Darts

Some people like to say darts isn't a real sport, but these are the same people who like to say cheese singles aren't real cheese and bbc three isn't a real tv channel, to these people (and forgive my french) I say one thing...

you are wrong.

The best thing about darts is even when you think it can't get even better someone wins and they play the fratellis, personally I love the fratellis, whenever I'm feeling a bit blue I just put on that song, you know that song that goes dododododododododododododo, that one... and I dance about and you know what, I have a freakin ball and I'm back in the zone ready to play some darts or get on the blog.

One day I'd like to invite Phil Taylor round for dinner, I'd cook him shepherds pie and we'd drink strongbow. Although they say it's best not to meet your heroes.

Film Review: Mr and Mrs Smith

People talk about films that like totally change their life, well this probably is the film that most changed my life. Brad Pitt is Mr Smith and Angelina Jolie is Mrs Smith. I think they are spies and they fight but fall in love. Some films are so good that the whole world should have their eyes pinned open and be forced to watch. I'd say Mr and Mrs Smith is one of them.

Astrology, NOW!

If you look at the stars you probably don't realise that they control your life but they actually do. Some stars are big and some stars are small, it doesn't really matter you should respect them anyway. In our celebrity culture it's quite annoying that you see silly famous people who haven't really done anything being described as 'stars'. Astrologers find this very annoying, so if you ever meet one don't talk about famous people like that, you should refer to them as silly idiots instead. Jupiter has moved near mars and the goat is playing footsie with saturn. This means you might meet some one alright, but then again you might not. The stars are fickle, but they are also precious.

Animal Competition Number 1

What do you prefer? Personally I'm always torn on this one because they are both super cool animals.

GARGH! WHAT TO DO?!?!?!

Challenger 1;



Challenger 2;



Let me know what you think,

Live-O.

This is what we think about B-Liar!

A duck is watching you... right now

LOLZ

Too much cake...

This is what alice might look like if she ate too much cake...

Happy Birthday Alice....part II

Here's a picture of a cake she might like..

Happy what now?

"I am still quite young,
But for you, the music is over" (LOL!)

Happy Bloomin' Birthday love 247

Song of the day!

Everyone likes fluffy animals right, so everyone should love Rolf Harris, not only does he have excellent facial hair, but he also loves and cares for sick animals with a diligence akin to the way the Saturdays craft their exquisite melodies. So when he takes time out from his busy schedule to make some whimsical little ditty you know it's gonna be warmer than congolese breast milk....

I give you "Tie me kangaroo down, Sport"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D-LmRNdQiQ

A new theme.... Douche of the week!

Ok guys new thread... Douches, we all know some...
King Douche of the week for his unassailable belief in God and his attempts to make that cage fighter guy see the light...
Stephen Baldwin

Film Review: Torque

12/16

Must watch.

Rawkus.

Matteo.

Squontology; Advanced Ontology of Squalor

Foreground Squalor - fs

Background Squalor - bs

Start point, ‘normal’ - n

At n fs + bs = 0

At each clean, what is cleaned is fs, what is not cleaned, yet is still squalor, becomes bs. So after first clean, if no bs is accumulated, if however there has been an alteration, n shifts to n1, n1=n+bs1. If after the first clean the level of bs does not change n2=n+bs1, if however it increases n2=n+bs2. Level of background squalor may decrease or increase, taking in elements of fs, or losing them, however it is very unlikely that it will ever return to 0, thus returning to n.

The process by which bs becomes bs is through 'normalisation' whereby it is no longer identified squalor, the inhabitant of the property mistakenly believes they are still at n.

Essay Question:

'Is not the most nefarious squalor that which does not permit itself to be viewed as squalor?' Discuss.

Acknowledgements: Sisqo, Bollywood, Andy H

UNLEASH THE DRAGON

bloody banks..... lol

Yo we totally hate banks at 247, at every level from the mindless robots dan is on first name terms at barclays (He loses his card a lot) to the like total douchebags who like ruined the banking system and like nearly caused black holes in space to be created by this like ring built by freemasons in texas or something (I heard it from peaches geldof an she's a scientologist so she would know), then there is vegans, singlehandedly like trying to stop me from eating meat, fucking meat fascists. If there were more people like vinnie jones, shit would be more real, more of the time....
peace out A-town

stay safe.... stay strong......

SHE BANGS SHE BANGS

Pepsi or coke? 2

the mcgangbang; does it prove the existence of god?

STAY LOCKED ON FOR TWITTER UPDATES - http://twitter.com/247crookesmoor

pepsi or coke?

Hey everyone i just thought id get in there while theres still time and ask that age old question. which is better pepsi or coke.

i think coke is probably cooler to drink around other people, but pepsi is quite nice when your at home sometimes. i don't wanna sound like a fashion victim but i'd probably have to take coke overall.

NEWSFLASH: IT TOTALLY DOESN'T MATTER, BE YOURSELF DRINK WHAT YOU LIKE.

anyway that's about all for now, i'm so sick and tired of people being judgemental about this stuff. GET OVERYOURSELF ALREADY

jumping in with my satirical take on charlies latest blogging, what do you call a crab with no legs? crabby no legs!

stay in school, paulo.

Cute Crab

hey look at this really cute crab guys! Keep on Bloggin' - CHAZ

Brothels Day 2010

There are those days that only come around once a year, the fa cup, christmas, eurovision and of course, brothels day. After the riots of 2009 security was high but luckily the day passed with minimal trouble (save from two cases of assault and one of attempted dognapping). As expected was a massive sellout, just one hour after doors opened there was a strict one in one out policy operating (though why anyone would want to leave a shin dig like that I'll never know!) Surprise appearances from natalie imbruglia and paulo wanchope really set the thing off but it was the bread, and of course waffles that stole the day. The cats left satisfied and the kids inspired, roll on 2011.

LOOK AT THAT FILTH

WHAT A FILTHY BLOODY LIAR,

PAUL

Films 2009 by Matteo

Hey guys, it's Matteo here, i'm a bit of a film buff round the way at 247 so i thought i'd give you my rundown of the best films of the last year:

To start with, i really enjoyed Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. Now everybody likes a good vampire flic, when you get your best buds round and a few tubs of popcorn you know you're gonna have a good time with vampires LOL

The next film i liked was Toy Story. It came out ages ago, but whatever, some times you get to things a bit late, i'm like that sometimes, a little tardy. Anyway that's my film review of 2009. Please go to the cinema, otherwise the film industry will die.

LOTS OF LOVE MATTTEEOOO

Why I love bloggin' by Dan

Hey guys i thought i should just let you know about why i love to blog. sometimes i feel like i could just jump for joy and you know what, that's when i want to blog. if i see like a really great movie (usually recommended by matteo) or read a really funny piece of satire that paul's shown me or seen a really cute picture of some animals that charlie posted me, that's when i feel like bloggin. Bloggin' is kinda the cool thing to do these days, it doesn't matter if you're not cool though, you can still blog. When life gets you down, i'd say the best thing to do is start a blog. if you're anything like me anyway, you'll have a darned good time, LOVESIES DAN

my favourite star of the year.

peace out, d-frank.

Hey aren't these little guys cute, LOL, Luv Charlie!

WELCOME EVERYONE WE LOVE YOU

Hey everyone, this is just a little space on the internet where 247 crookesmoor can tell like it is. Matteo is our resident film expert so he'll be keeping you upto date with all the hollywood goss. Paul will provide lots of satire and fun fun fun. Charlie is into animals, so you'll probably get lots of useful information about them. Dan is into astrology, so he'll be talking about stars and stuff. Anyway we thought we needed the internet was dying for a space that B-Liar hadn't got his grubby little mits on yet, so hear it is. Now this space is interactive, we love feedback at 247 and we feel it makes everyone probably a better person! So let us know what you love and what you hate, till we meet again, keep on bloggin!