From the guys that brought you the internet, pasties from the pasty shop in the union and Claudio Ranieri. This isn't Sparta, it's 247.
Sunday, 31 January 2010
belle de jourk
what's it like being a prostitute? its actually quite fun. sometimes you write books and sometimes you shag some like weirdoes, but who cares its still a laugh. when 247 started whoring themselves out they were a bit worried at first, we all know B-Liar's the ultimate whore and no one wants to be like that, but we weren't like that, we were quite lol about the whole thing and thats probably a good thing otherwise we might've forgotten how fun being a prostitute can be. just don't tell mum LOL, old people just don't understand right?
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Poll Results
We at 247 are always looking to hear what you the public think, that’s just the way we roll (not like that scumbug B-Liar... where’s our referendum hey?). So when we upped a poll on the hot button issue of the day, what is the cutest animal, we were thrilled by the response. You flocked to everyday struggle in your masses and here were the results;
Pony
2 (12%)
Baby Rabbit
3 (18%)
Little Puppy
7 (43%)
B-LIAR (EEEUGGH NO!)
4 (25%)
As you can see Little Puppy came out victorious and earlier that day we caught up with him to get his response.
247croookesmoor; So Little Puppy you have been voted the cutest animal, how does it feel?
Little Puppy: Woof woof woof.
247crookesmoor: Now I know you have lots more to say but time is short and ketchup is red so do you have any closing remarks?
Little Puppt: Woof woof woof.
Moving. Very moving.
jelly beans
Darts
Some people like to say darts isn't a real sport, but these are the same people who like to say cheese singles aren't real cheese and bbc three isn't a real tv channel, to these people (and forgive my french) I say one thing...
you are wrong.
The best thing about darts is even when you think it can't get even better someone wins and they play the fratellis, personally I love the fratellis, whenever I'm feeling a bit blue I just put on that song, you know that song that goes dododododododododododododo, that one... and I dance about and you know what, I have a freakin ball and I'm back in the zone ready to play some darts or get on the blog.
One day I'd like to invite Phil Taylor round for dinner, I'd cook him shepherds pie and we'd drink strongbow. Although they say it's best not to meet your heroes.
you are wrong.
The best thing about darts is even when you think it can't get even better someone wins and they play the fratellis, personally I love the fratellis, whenever I'm feeling a bit blue I just put on that song, you know that song that goes dododododododododododododo, that one... and I dance about and you know what, I have a freakin ball and I'm back in the zone ready to play some darts or get on the blog.
One day I'd like to invite Phil Taylor round for dinner, I'd cook him shepherds pie and we'd drink strongbow. Although they say it's best not to meet your heroes.
Film Review: Mr and Mrs Smith
People talk about films that like totally change their life, well this probably is the film that most changed my life. Brad Pitt is Mr Smith and Angelina Jolie is Mrs Smith. I think they are spies and they fight but fall in love. Some films are so good that the whole world should have their eyes pinned open and be forced to watch. I'd say Mr and Mrs Smith is one of them.
Astrology, NOW!
If you look at the stars you probably don't realise that they control your life but they actually do. Some stars are big and some stars are small, it doesn't really matter you should respect them anyway. In our celebrity culture it's quite annoying that you see silly famous people who haven't really done anything being described as 'stars'. Astrologers find this very annoying, so if you ever meet one don't talk about famous people like that, you should refer to them as silly idiots instead. Jupiter has moved near mars and the goat is playing footsie with saturn. This means you might meet some one alright, but then again you might not. The stars are fickle, but they are also precious.
Animal Competition Number 1
Monday, 25 January 2010
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Song of the day!
Everyone likes fluffy animals right, so everyone should love Rolf Harris, not only does he have excellent facial hair, but he also loves and cares for sick animals with a diligence akin to the way the Saturdays craft their exquisite melodies. So when he takes time out from his busy schedule to make some whimsical little ditty you know it's gonna be warmer than congolese breast milk....
I give you "Tie me kangaroo down, Sport"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D-LmRNdQiQ
A new theme.... Douche of the week!
Monday, 18 January 2010
Squontology; Advanced Ontology of Squalor
Foreground Squalor - fs
Background Squalor - bs
Start point, ‘normal’ - n
At n fs + bs = 0
At each clean, what is cleaned is fs, what is not cleaned, yet is still squalor, becomes bs. So after first clean, if no bs is accumulated, if however there has been an alteration, n shifts to n1, n1=n+bs1. If after the first clean the level of bs does not change n2=n+bs1, if however it increases n2=n+bs2. Level of background squalor may decrease or increase, taking in elements of fs, or losing them, however it is very unlikely that it will ever return to 0, thus returning to n.
The process by which bs becomes bs is through 'normalisation' whereby it is no longer identified squalor, the inhabitant of the property mistakenly believes they are still at n.
Essay Question:
'Is not the most nefarious squalor that which does not permit itself to be viewed as squalor?' Discuss.
Acknowledgements: Sisqo, Bollywood, Andy H
Background Squalor - bs
Start point, ‘normal’ - n
At n fs + bs = 0
At each clean, what is cleaned is fs, what is not cleaned, yet is still squalor, becomes bs. So after first clean, if no bs is accumulated, if however there has been an alteration, n shifts to n1, n1=n+bs1. If after the first clean the level of bs does not change n2=n+bs1, if however it increases n2=n+bs2. Level of background squalor may decrease or increase, taking in elements of fs, or losing them, however it is very unlikely that it will ever return to 0, thus returning to n.
The process by which bs becomes bs is through 'normalisation' whereby it is no longer identified squalor, the inhabitant of the property mistakenly believes they are still at n.
Essay Question:
'Is not the most nefarious squalor that which does not permit itself to be viewed as squalor?' Discuss.
Acknowledgements: Sisqo, Bollywood, Andy H
bloody banks..... lol
Yo we totally hate banks at 247, at every level from the mindless robots dan is on first name terms at barclays (He loses his card a lot) to the like total douchebags who like ruined the banking system and like nearly caused black holes in space to be created by this like ring built by freemasons in texas or something (I heard it from peaches geldof an she's a scientologist so she would know), then there is vegans, singlehandedly like trying to stop me from eating meat, fucking meat fascists. If there were more people like vinnie jones, shit would be more real, more of the time....
peace out A-town
pepsi or coke?
Hey everyone i just thought id get in there while theres still time and ask that age old question. which is better pepsi or coke.
i think coke is probably cooler to drink around other people, but pepsi is quite nice when your at home sometimes. i don't wanna sound like a fashion victim but i'd probably have to take coke overall.
NEWSFLASH: IT TOTALLY DOESN'T MATTER, BE YOURSELF DRINK WHAT YOU LIKE.
anyway that's about all for now, i'm so sick and tired of people being judgemental about this stuff. GET OVERYOURSELF ALREADY
Brothels Day 2010
There are those days that only come around once a year, the fa cup, christmas, eurovision and of course, brothels day. After the riots of 2009 security was high but luckily the day passed with minimal trouble (save from two cases of assault and one of attempted dognapping). As expected was a massive sellout, just one hour after doors opened there was a strict one in one out policy operating (though why anyone would want to leave a shin dig like that I'll never know!) Surprise appearances from natalie imbruglia and paulo wanchope really set the thing off but it was the bread, and of course waffles that stole the day. The cats left satisfied and the kids inspired, roll on 2011.
Films 2009 by Matteo
Hey guys, it's Matteo here, i'm a bit of a film buff round the way at 247 so i thought i'd give you my rundown of the best films of the last year:
To start with, i really enjoyed Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. Now everybody likes a good vampire flic, when you get your best buds round and a few tubs of popcorn you know you're gonna have a good time with vampires LOL
The next film i liked was Toy Story. It came out ages ago, but whatever, some times you get to things a bit late, i'm like that sometimes, a little tardy. Anyway that's my film review of 2009. Please go to the cinema, otherwise the film industry will die.
LOTS OF LOVE MATTTEEOOO
Why I love bloggin' by Dan
Hey guys i thought i should just let you know about why i love to blog. sometimes i feel like i could just jump for joy and you know what, that's when i want to blog. if i see like a really great movie (usually recommended by matteo) or read a really funny piece of satire that paul's shown me or seen a really cute picture of some animals that charlie posted me, that's when i feel like bloggin. Bloggin' is kinda the cool thing to do these days, it doesn't matter if you're not cool though, you can still blog. When life gets you down, i'd say the best thing to do is start a blog. if you're anything like me anyway, you'll have a darned good time, LOVESIES DAN
WELCOME EVERYONE WE LOVE YOU
Hey everyone, this is just a little space on the internet where 247 crookesmoor can tell like it is. Matteo is our resident film expert so he'll be keeping you upto date with all the hollywood goss. Paul will provide lots of satire and fun fun fun. Charlie is into animals, so you'll probably get lots of useful information about them. Dan is into astrology, so he'll be talking about stars and stuff. Anyway we thought we needed the internet was dying for a space that B-Liar hadn't got his grubby little mits on yet, so hear it is. Now this space is interactive, we love feedback at 247 and we feel it makes everyone probably a better person! So let us know what you love and what you hate, till we meet again, keep on bloggin!
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